Coping With Grief

My cousin was an amazing guy, who had good things going for him, until the day he found out he had skin cancer. He had surgery to have the skin cancer removed, but it came back the next summer. Once again he had to have surgery to remove it from his back. Not too long after that surgery, he found out that he then had brain cancer

For a good 4 or 5 months, he fought through the cancer. Continued to go to work, take care of his 5 year-old son, and live his life normally. We even threw him a fundraiser to help him pay for some of the medical bills. We raised over $10,000. He started to get real sick again around Christmas. He would go off job sites to throw up, but he never told anyone. He went down to see his mom in Florida, right after Christmas, as a Christmas present to her. The day after he arrived, he had to be sent to a Florida hospital emergency room because he was sick. He was rushed home to be in intensive care.

He was in the hospital for about a month, when they finally thought he was getting better. He started eating better, talking better, walking better. So they sent him to rehab, to try to work him back to his full potential. Around this time, I got a tattoo on my wrist that says Adam, because he inspired me so much, the way he was putting up with everything. He was the strongest person I ever met.

Then they sent him to live with my aunt, because he was doing so good. He lived there for about a week before he was sent back in the hospital. When he returned to the hospital, we then found out that his cancer had spread to his lungs, liver, skin, shoulder lymph node, and his bones. We knew he didn’t have much time left, but no one wanted to ask the prognosis. Finally the doctor told us and him, that he probably wouldn’t last a year. Even a year felt like a long time compared to what we got, because the next week Adam passed away.

The day before he passed away, I went to see him in the hospital, not for the first time, but for the last. As I held his hand for the last time, and he gripped it so tight, I knew he never wanted me to let go. After a while, I let go, and ran into the hallway to cry in my dads arms. The entire car ride home I held my hand closed tight, because I could still feel the warmth from his hand. I can still feel the warmth from his hand. It was the most devastating thing in the world to lose my cousin that way. I will never be the same person again without him.

At the viewing, I was there from open to close. I left in the middle to have my tattoo revised, with the cancer ribbon faded in the background. That day, and the following funeral day, was two of the hardest days of my life. I didn’t want to say goodbye. Now I wear an engraved bracelet every single day, so he’s always in my thoughts. CAL, I’ll always love you. RIP