Coping With Grief

Dennis was born at 7 months in Berkley, California, to Ruthie and Louie. January 23rd, 1990. I was in the Hospital for about 9 days because I lost my water way too early, so they wanted me to stay in bed until I had Dennis. Dennis was born at 3:33 am at 4lbs- 14oz. Dennis came home at 5lbs. Dennis had a great life. But at 1 month old he had surgery because he had a herniea [hernia] and needed to have that fixed. But at all his doctor’s appointments the doctors reported his weight was great and all his life was good. Teeth were great. All x-rays and blood work were also good. But in the year of 2000 Dennis started having problems with his feet.

We went in to see what was going on and the doctor said that Dennis had extra growth plates in his toes and they needed to be taken out. So we had that done and everything went well. Never any broken bones or stitches until the surgery in 2000.

Then in the year 2003, myself and all my kids (4) all got sick with a cold, but Dennis never got better and was getting worse. One day I took him to school and watched him walk to class and he kept stopping and was not able to catch his breath, so I brought him back home and put him to bed. I got home from work and Dennis told me, “Mom, I need to go to hospital I don’t feel well.” So we went to the hospital and they said that he had a bad case of Nemonia [pneumonia] and had to be taken to a hospital that would be able to help kids. So they called every hospital and one in Santa Clara said that we could go there.

We waited for 5 hours and they came and got us. We arrived and they did lots of test and asked lots of questions and took lots of X-Rays. This was July 2nd 2003, and Dennis was ok. Then he started getting worse. The doctor told me that they would have to put him in a coma if Dennis’ coughing got any worse. Dennis tried so hard and Dennis told the doctor to go ahead and put him in a coma because he could not breath on his own. July 5th the doctors told us that Dennis had cancer and a big tumer [tumor] in his chest. So they started him with his Cemo [chemotherapy] and other meds and July 19th he was awake and feeling better; no more coughing.

But I had to tell him what was going on and what he had. Dennis and I, Ruthie, lived in the hospital for 6 months straight. Dennis was told by his doctor that there was nothing more they could do to help him, and Dennis being 13 was ok with that. He cried 1 time and said the F word and said that I will live my life with a smile. Dennis died at home with myself and his step father Javier and Aunt and Uncle Tina, Dade and 1 of his sisters Monica. It was a very hard 6 months in our lives and I know for the rest of our lives as well.