Coping With Grief

October 2007

• My Mother - My Hero - by Claire - (Sun, Oct 28 2007)
  Firstly, I want to say to everyone that reads this who may be suffering from this awful disease or know someone who is, my thoughts and prayers are with you all each night. Now, let me tell you who my Mother was. She was the most amazing person who ever walked this earth… well in my eyes. I miss her with every bone in my body, every second of the day. She was more than just my Mum, she was my sister and my very best friend. I remember the day she was diagnosed with Adrenal Cancer as if it was yesterday. One month after her 60th birthday. I already knew. I’d investigated her symptoms on the web and it was obvious to me that she had Cushings Syndrome. I didn’t want to believe it… how could my Mum be dying??? From that moment on she was totally amazing, never ever letting any of it get her down. First the tumor of origin was removed. The adrenal gland was removed, but the kidney remained… it had been spared! Unfortunately the cancer had spread to her right lung and she had developed small tumors along her spine. After recovering from the operation she started radio therapy and chemotherapy Time after time she went into Barts hospital. She was given Mitotane and steroid treatments, but couldn’t tolerate them very well. Anti sickness and codine pain relief were also prescribed to help. Her professor was so kind and she held him in the highest regard. She fought every single moment right up to her last to be here for me, her grandchildren and her husband. Never complaining, always helping the other patients too. June 2007 she was undergoing radiotheraphy on a tumor on her shoulder. Unfortunately during the treatment her arm was broken at the tumor site. They all thought it was just stiffness from the treatment, but at her next scan they found it. So back to hospital she went. Into the Royal London this time for a pin to be fitted in her shoulder to hold it back together again. It didn’t work. The cancer had eaten the bone away, and this is where we found out that it was inside her bones now. They fitted a pin in her right hip as this was very weak too. This went well and soon they were trying to get Mum up on her feet again. Something told me in my heart that time was all too short now. She was moved back to Barts but became very ill. She carried on fighting as best she could though and was so very pleased to see her grandchildren on a sunny September Saturday. A few days later she asked my permission to “go to sleep”. She didn’t want the medicine or anything anymore. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I respected her decision, honoured her dignity, and told her I understood. Then she sent me away. She promised she’d see me in a few days, but as I left, and saw her looking at me I knew that was our last goodbye. She said she’d get the nurses to call me if she needed me back. I know now she never had any intention of doing it. Right up until the end she thought of others first. She didn’t want me to see the end. Did I want to be there…? Yes, without question, but I’d also made her a promise and I went home. I don’t regret it, because the memory of my mum’s face in life is the most precious I have. There is one lesson I’ve learnt from all of this… live life. Tell those you love, that you do love them, so that when you’re gone they will always know. I will never stop loving my Mother. There is the biggest hole in my heart without her here. Her professor, doctors and nurses were wonderful. My mum’s strength was amazing. I am convinced the combination of both gave me an extra year with her. It may have only been 18 months from diagnosis, but we made the best of the time we could. She will always be with me, because I was part of her and she is part of me. To you all - please think of my mum as an inspiration, not in sadness. Be strong yourselves, live, love and be as happy as you can. [more..]
• the life of concetta - by james - (Tue, Oct 23 2007)
  my name is james and i had cancer when i was seven years old. i am now 15 years old. a year and a half ago my aunt concetta was diagnosed with bone and adrenal cancer it was very hard to watch her wither away and lose all of her beautiful hair. [more..]
• mama - by melody - (Fri, Oct 12 2007)
  im a daughter of a kidney patient,being with mom everytime she goes to the hospital for her dialysis and monthly check up was very hard…not because im tired of it but because of the emotional pain…whenever i see my mother suffer how i wish that i could replace her [more..]
• Looking 4 answers - by Missing Her - (Wed, Oct 10 2007)
  About 6 months ago a co-worker/friend was hospitalized with pnemonia [pneumonia] and the doctors found an irregular heart beat. She followed up with her doctor who then sent her to several other ’specialists’. Being a very private woman, she never disclosed exactly what the specialists were looking/testing her for. She lost lots of weight over the last 6 months and she simply looked tired. [more..]
• Mom - by karen - (Wed, Oct 10 2007)
  One Thursday night my mom was complaining about stomach pain. She thought it was something she ate. It continued Friday and Saturday morning. By the afternoon, she did not know who we were and where she was. [more..]