Living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

I’ve always been a very anxious person. The summer after my junior year in high school, I started thinking about my health. I was fixated on the way the corners of my mouth turned up, and how my tongue looked. It sounds so strange; but, I thought that maybe my nerves were not working right because of a problem with my brain. I pretty much was convinced that I had a brain tumor, and that I was dying.

What makes this worse is that around this time, my grandmother died. So I thought about death more and more. The whole summer was spent ruminating about this. And one day, I couldn’t get the image of cutting my wrists out of my head. I thought I was just going to kill myself, so I paced around for a few hours, and I ended up at the ER and saw a psychologist Soon after, I started to worry that I would hurt my parents, and was getting images of that stuck in my head as well.

The doctor said I was showing symptoms of OCD and another anxiety disorder, which made me feel better, however I didn’t improve until I saw two more psychologists and was prescribed Prozac, and that has really helped.

They call my type of OCD Pure-O. I have no compulsions. Sometimes even people I’m close to don’t really take my disorder seriously because I don’t show noticable symptoms. Because I don’t put things in order.

I’m much better now, and in college, but my obsessing gets worse when I’m not keeping busy with something. This is one of the best websites explaining the disorder that I’ve seen. I don’t usually talk about what I’ve been through, but anything you can find when you have OCD helps, so cheers.