I heard about occd a few years back and it finally occured to me that its me. I always wondered what was wrong with me and why I was different. when I was a kid my grandmother was always yelling at me for blowing on my fingers and squatting down every few steps when I was walking. I touched every thing in a store as I walked past it. If I couldn’t , I felt like I was going to go nuts. I blinked all the time, jerked my neck made throat noises and turned the water and lights on and off about ten times before it felt right to let them off or on.

Some of these things I find to be under tourettes syndrome and some in ocd I am confused as to what is what.

Now that I type, I type a part of a word, go back and erase it and re type it many times. It takes so long to type, If I rear a story, I read and go back and re read it. I can not even hardly retain what I am reading. It is so hard to hide this in my adult life but I am trying.

I am a germ phobic at this point. I wash everything many times, and if I think it has germs on it, I can’t let it go. at work this is causing me problems.It sounds odd that I am a germ phob, because if you saw the house at this point you would not beleive it. I am over worked now and I don’t have time oor energy to clean it and I have it just so unorganized but it is organized in y head and I know where all the things I need are. No one else can find anything but I know in that pile on the counter……is the tape and the scissors, and in the bathroom I know on the back of the toilet, is tweezers and make up.

I keep everything anymore for fear of needing it. I keep all mail because I dont have time to go through it and also I might need it for reading at a future date. ( it has info that I would like to read ).

I have no one but the kids that I can talk to about this. Not even my husband. People used to mock me by blinking in school and doing the head jerk thing. I moved many yrs ago and no one knows about it where I am living but I am so afraid it is noticable.

I worry about everything obsessively. I worry that I wont look good enough at work. that I won’t look good enough when I go to the post office and the store and people will talk about me. I worry when I have to atend a party or big important thing. I worry that people wont like me, and what will I talk about and I am drained by the time it comes to that date that anymore I dont want to attend. sometimes I stay home. I feel so tense around people anymore.

I dont do good with any meds and I would like to get control of this. any advice on natural supplementation. serotonin, melatonin or vitamin therapy thanks!