I first got a panic attack when I was in my junior year of high school. I had it and thought nothing of it after, but i soon started having more here and there. I went to my normal physician and she referred me over to a phsychiatrist [psychiatrist], that she knew personally. I went to her for some medication that would subside the feeling when it arose from time to time. I really thought that was all I needed. But then one day I just felt constant fear. Fear of showering, going to the bathroom, fear of little noises that startled me, fear of going outside the house. It got worse. I couldn’t eat and always slept, only to wake up to panic attacks and fear.

I went back to the doctor with my parents who supported me fully. My Mom has had anxiety in early adulthood as well, but not as severe as mine and got over it sooner than me. Anyway she perscribed Zoloft to me in a very low dose to see if that would work. It didn’t really work, and I had to increase the dose to 75 mil. It slowly started working and it got better everyday. Very slowly though. But I had to get used to and adjusted to everyday life again. It was horrible. I hated having it so much. But life went on and I continued as I had before I got it. But occasionally from time to time I felt a little anxiety but it would go away and I would be fine. It went on that way for a little over a year.

But now I’m 6 months pregnant and expecting a baby girl with my boyfriend who I’ve been with for over 2 years. He has always been by my side too, whenever I needed him. He supported me along with his Mom who also had anxiety in early adulthood. He has been such a help and I thank God for having him and my family. But back to the subject. I wanted a baby with him, and he wanted one with me, so it was planned. He has a steady job with his Mom, where she is the General Manager for a Moving Company. So we pretty much have everything under control financial wise. His Mom is super excited and helping us out as well with money. My Mom and Dad weren’t mad surprisingly!

But these past couple of weeks I have been having some anxiety and a few panic attacks. A couple of days ago it got really bad and I constantly feel fear. I started getting more. I’m not eating, and I called the doctor to increase the dose because I just can’t handle it. I break down constantly and I have my Mom staying home with me taking care of me everyday. I now have a different doctor since a month ago, because my original one moved to a different place and it doesn’t take the insurance we have. But I still go to the same building, and the same office. She increased my dosage to 100 mil. a couple days ago. It seemed to help a little. I am not getting those severe panic attacks like the first day, but I still feel very scared everyday, allday.

Is it because of the hormones? I read that women who have had panic disorder prior to pregnancy are more likely to have it flaring up during pregnancy. But I need it to go away so I can eat. I nibble a little here and there but I feel like that’s not enough. Because of baby. But I just want it to go away. Is it safe to increase my dosage of Zoloft? It has had no effect on anyone who was pregnant and on it. Their babies came out just fine. I just want someone to make it go away!! I constantly think of things to fear in the future, like after i give birth, because I read that you are more likely to feel very scared around your baby, if you feel like this now. It scares me so much. I don’t want to be like those mothers who harm their baby. I’m so scared. Will I not feel like that because I am already in treatment? I also fear when the time comes where I have to give birth. I don’t know why. Is it because of the anxiety? I can’t take this for four more months, until May 29, 2008. I need to eat and get out, how I used to before.

Can someone with experience help me??!! Will the medicine make all these feelings go away?? I feel like I have no hope at all!! Like it’ll never go away. There are so many things I fear right now. Like how I did before when I first got diagnosed with panic disorder. But now it seems worse with the whole situation.