I was abused as a child for many years don’t really remember the extent of my younger childhood years but remember when my world fell more apart more so since the perputrator lost employment, etc. I’ve been humilized, torn apart by this worst kind of action possible, and many knew about this. I told and asked for help and still no one listened. Our family has been through so much as a result of my devasting child bearing years and pre adolscesent years, has caused me to have many obstacles in my life to really at times to not know where to start.

As my life goes on at now 33 years of age I’ve tried to tell my story of many and one true bad devastaing secret that REALLY TODAY KNOW IF ANYTHING CAN BE DONE TO THIS PERSON THAT MADE Such hedious acts on so many, etc. but have had many thoughts of the past and having a hard time getting over it and dealing with who i am today of many disorders, diseases, sicknesses, illnesses, and diagnoses that exist in the family either in the genes or heredity, or brought on by many traumas in ones life.

I’d for one would like to know how could the system, dhs and others avoid these such errors and not see the signs of distachemnt, poor grades, poor social skills, bruises the pyscial abuse, as well as needed extra assitance in my teenage years at the time when my world fell apart and may of been when youger as i have heard other horror sstories from other family members and as a result I didn’t see my mothers parents for 10 years of my life because of questions being asked about bruises, and other family members either seeing things bad happening outside the family. How can this happen and today the perputrator haS BEEN WORKING IN A STATE PRISON UNTIL HIS DIABETES and his emphazema gotten the worse of him.

I’ve tried to forgive him but til this day I have so much hate torwards this person the life he given me I’d well been adpoted or didn’t really exsist, and still don’t today as a result of these actions brought upon the perputrator himself has caused me to have so many issues to deal with alot of things toady. What would be the difference if he was to be prosecuted today verses the preachers cases, etc. could this stand trial or if anything be helpful for going through with my story in another form. He is still around other children from time to time. my mother knows what he’s capable of and allows this and still does nothing. because of all the health problems she states alot of times she doesn’t have the energy to deal with it or feels that she couln’t be any other life without her spouse that did such bad things to her and so many other victims out there don’t want to talk about these things. and since i mentioned to the perputrator that i was going to bring him down for what he did and said i needed help but in reality he knew what i was talking about and was afraid of what i ‘d do and since i stated those words til this day he totally is furoious at me and doesn’t want much to do with me neither my brother due to us letting his family secret out of the bag.

should I get justice, but still justice isn’t enough when you are trying to repair damage for almost 20 years of ones life. it can’t really be done no matter how positive you try to be, get counseling to deal with the issues, as well move on with your life and the past keeps taking you down with it, what does one do?

I have alot of problems with sleep, fatigue, extreme levels of low energy or none at all, not been employed for over 5 years and have had alot of problems with keeping many jobs down, being persistent in anything I attempt to do to be sucessful in my life. i try my best with what i was taught and mostly that was mainly in school and to state i’ve been tested at the iq of a 5th grade level in both reading and math, as a result tried some college and was succesful but had difficulties due to spouses opinions, family, transportaion distance and medication factors. as well I have many limitations that would either discrimination results, to having retaught daily activities, to not being able to respond to the public or workforce socially, to not being required to respond to supervisor to emergency situations, to not be responsible to remember new information , detailed information, as well should not need to adapt to frequent changes of duties and locations, as well have a 10 pound weight restrictions, and many physical limitations due to either mental pain occureed form my trauma, as in my life as well as having been diagnosed of fibromyalgia, sever combination of impairments by ssi and found me unfavorable and stated i do not fit their criteria for the disabled. what would you think and what jobs could you suggest due to al one person woul either deal with or would have to get treated, have extra tools to work, etc. don’t get me wrong i want to do something with my life but haven’t found the right fit for my life, etc.

here’s what i’ve been diagnosed and maybe you can make sense of it or maybe not. dysthymic disorder, adjustment disorder with depressed mood and anxious features, anxiety disorder/ nos, personality disorder/nos, rule out ptsd, fibromyalgia, mild tendinopathy of the right shoulder, mild degenerative changes of the cervical and lumbar spine, bilateral carpal tunnel syndrome, migraines insomnia, etc. could you help in any of these would be helpful, how could i not have ptsd diagnosis with so many difficulties to deal with in my life?