Living with Posttraumatic Stress Disorder

I am writing in hopes that at least one person will read this entry and learn from my experience.

I am 48 yrs old and I am a registered nurse. My earliest childhood memory is being sexually abused, not once but several times over the course of a summer. When I started to talk about it I was in my 40’s. My mother told me this awful person had been incarcerated for doing the same to others. Without me realizing it, the tragedy of this event laid the foundation for my adult life. I am a survivor but I have not lived a full and happy life.

Low self-esteem and self-confidence has lead to problems. It presented itself as–not being able to ask for things—always putting other people’s needs first—staying in a bad relationship—always looking after and trying to please others, to name a few.

I call it the triple whammy effect relating to being a survivor, a registered nurse, and marriage to a man whom has strong traits of borderline personality disorder.

If I had put my self first and taken better care of myself thru-out the years in regards to counseling and therapy and medication for depression I would have made the connection. My present problems are connected to my past.

Today the healing process is beginning. It is important to me to reach at least one person. Read my story and learn. Seek professional help.