Living with Posttraumatic Stress Disorder

I was injurerd in Iraq in 2003,and was discharged from the Army due to my injuries.The physical wounds have healed but the mental injuries are worse. I now have these compultions and nightmares and all kinds of energy biult up in my head that just keeps flashing like a camara at a Super-Bowl game. I do things I wouldn’t have normaly ever done before.

I get mad over the tiniest things.I have a termanly ill mother that I support, my 11 year old son is in a residentail treatment home for Bipolar disorder and I sometimes feel like I’m at witts end. I have bipolar disorder with chronic PTSD. I am also having problems with a compulsive disorder that seemed to come from out of nowhere. I do things that I never on Gods green earth would have ever done in my life. I abuse the credit card when I shop. I don’t just go in and get out, I stay for hours and hours. I have 56 pair of shoes now, but I only wear like three different pair, but when i am in the store I become like Dr. Jykel and Mr. Hyde.

I am so obsessed whith things I don’t need but I have to buy them. I am so overwelmed at times I loose my breath while looking at all the stuff in the store. I have gotton into porn in the past.I sometimes will stay up all night looking at it.I view content I wouldn’t normaly look at but its like this voice tells me to do it and I can’t stop. Really I am A good man, And I try to work on my problems, but maybe I dont put enough into it.

I am always doing for my sick son or my sick mom that I neglect myself alot. I cant stay focused and I have poor judgment. I dont have the discipline I took pride in, in the Infintry. I need help,and my impulsive thoughts are now causing trouble with the Law. What do I do. I want the Old me back.