Im a 32 year old man. When I was 26 I was dating a girl who had a possessive ex boyfriend he was abusive, physically, verbally and mentally towards her. I met her a few month after they broke up. I never met, talked to or had any interaction with him at all… Until he broke into my house while I was asleep and shot me in the face with a 22 calculable hunting rifle.

I have very few memories of the event. I remember waking up and seeing a person in the shadows of my bedroom jumping and to my feet. After that my ears started ringing because of the loudness of the gun shot and I could taste the gun powder. The only way I can describe it is, if you have ever smelt a firecracker after it went off…I could taste that smell. Everything that happened that morning in my bedroom is second hand information from the girl I was dating she was also there and witnessed the whole event. I remember everything once her and I made it out of my apartment.

After the event I spent quite a bit of time in the hospital and nearly died. I am truly very lucky to be alive and I am thankful for the many people that had a part in saving my life that day.

Once I left the hospital I was given a prescription for demarall. (Im sure I didnt spell that correctly.) It was six months before I could eat and drink with out the aid of tubes although I still have trouble swallowing and breathing among many other health issues.

Once I was “better” and not taking prescription drugs I began having trouble sleeping and to this day only sleep at the most five hours a night. To get to sleep I would drink and drink heavily. I also began smoking around two ounces of pot a month. I had violent mood swings and became enraged very easily. I distanced my self from friends and family and became emotionally unavailable to the many women I went through after this.

I also became very easily startled, it sounds stupid but any unexpected loud noise will make me flinch violently. I began to have horrible nightmares of being unable to move as someone was in my house. I would wake up dripping in sweat with my heart pounding.

As I said I am 32 now and have been dealing with this for over 5 years. In that time I have aged visually a great deal. At the time of the event I was always told I looked to be 22, remember I was 26 when this happened. Now if someone were to guess my age I get anywhere from 34 to 39, even thought I just turned 32.

I have since quit smoking pot and I drink very rarely. I have every type of psych meds known to man and none of them have worked. So I take nothing for my condition.

I came across this website late one night and read others stories. I don’t think telling my story will help any of you. I was hoping it would help me.

If your waiting for the part where I tell you how everything is all better now, its not coming. I still have all the conditions Ive described. Im not sure if what I have is PTSD but from what I can tell it will be with me forever.

My best advice to someone that has my symptoms, get a big dog. I do sleep a little better knowing she hears everything and will at least let me know if someone is trying to get into my house.

Good night all… and sweet dreams.
Please wish the same for me.