I got the call early in the morning that my nephew shot himself in the head and was rush to the hospital. I ran down to the hospital as fast as I could. I meet his wife in the front lobby and his friends. I was taken to his room he was hook up to life support system. The doctors and nurses said he would not leave for too much longer. We watch him suffer in the hospital for six hours, he was put in to another room, we pray for him, hopping for an miracle. We watch nurses stablize his breathing, the day worn long as his body fight to survive.

I watch a bubble form from his mouth we didn’t know that will be his last breath he past away. I notice the gun shot from his head and the bandage. I try to convince myself that it wasn’t my nephew I was seeing, but it was. I try to convince myself that if only I could have know sooner that he had problems I could have save him. I keep reliving the scene in my head watching him try to suffer in that hospital bed.

I did blame myself for not being a good uncle to him. I try to keep myself busy not thinking about him. I had night mares of the scene, I avoid going to places and I try to get involved with churches, volunteering as much as I could. I still can’t get it at of my head, he was so young age 21 at a full life to look forward to. I still have pictures of him. When January came that was the month he died. I got so depressed that I wanted to leave. I hope this helps.