My name is Steve and I was diagnosed with schizophrenia the Spring of 1997. Although I have overcome some challenges, schizophrenia has changed my life in many ways. I believe schizophrenia has as much to do with biology, genes and chemical imbalances as it does with issues like drug use and stress.

I was born in 1970 prematurely with a birth weight of less than 4 lbs. My fraternal twin sister was delivered before me. My birth was complicated and lasted more than one hour. After my delivery, I had one collapsed lung for a short period of time. Before my first birthday, I also had a hernia operation.

As I grew to become a young child, I discovered my older brother was different from the other children in the neighborhood. They became angry with him when he would not answer their questions like “what’s your name,” or “how old are you.” He was also born premature. Doctors diagnosed him as hyperactive and he also tested as mentally retarded.

My sister and I did not have the same intellectual challenges as my brother. At the same time, I was held back in kindergarten because of my maturity level. Concerned, my parents had me tested as my brother had been tested. Fortunately, I tested high. Unfortunately, I still had to repeat kindergarten.

I did not see this as a big deal. Although a few kids said things, my dad said that he was held back during his first grade year. He was already a company vice-president at the time and wore a suit and tie to work. After kindergarten, I did not have to repeat another year and eventually had above average grades.

School (k-12) went reasonbly well for me. I struggled in math, but did above average in the other subjects. I liked reading, sports and art. By the time I graduated high school, I played rugby for a men’s club team and was looking forward to college. I wanted to pursue a career in business as my dad had.

During high school, though, my grandfather became sick. He became depressed and would not eat. They gave him electro-shock therapy and eventually diagnosed him with schizophrenia. He began to eat again and was released from the hospital.

My mother said that this was not the first time this happened. He was once hospitalized after the newspaper he worked for closed. They knocked on his door during the middle of the night to tell him. Shortly after, he was in the hospital for a nervous breakdown.

His “breakdown” bothered me because my mom often compared me to him. In the back of my mind, I wondered if such a thing could happen to me. At the same time, how could you prevent something like that from happening.

When school started, I found college was a little bumpy. Business required much more math and statistics than I expected. I eventually transferred to a small liberal arts college. I graduated with a degree in Political Economy and minor in Marketing.

Following college, I worked in sales for a health insurance company. During that time, my grandfather was hospitalized again for psychological reasons. It made me worry, but I made it this far and was doing well. I doubted this could happen to me with no warning.

I then accepted a job with a larger company in a much bigger city. While there, I developed grandiose ideas and paranoia. It seemed like the executives were trying to fire me because I was doing so well. It seemed like I was changing the company just by being there. The pressure I felt caused me to quit because I was unable to do basic things like make sales calls.

For the next two years, I bounced around from job to job until I was hospitalized for schizophrenia. After the hospitalization, I had a difficult time accepting the illness and the side effects of the medication. I went without medication until I was hospitalized again. Since then, I have taken a job with a housing agency and volunteered with NAMI. Things are going better, but I do not like the isolation that so many websites and articles mention. I am always looking to find the reasons this happened, but it is still unknown.