Living with Sex Addiction

hope some one can say something so enlightening that it stops me in my tracks. I have been having ongoing sexual sessions with my ex boyfriend for 5 years now, 4 of which he had a girl friend as well as other women on the side. We were only together 2 1/2 years prior to just the sexual relationship. I would say he is a sexual addict and his arousal is heightened by the variety and nasty acts he can provoke the women to do.

Most of his sexual experiences are with married women he likes to think he pleases the women called the Cougar these days. I know so much about his affairs I’ve even viewed an experience he’s had on video. How sick does that mean my addiction to sex with him is as well. I have only had 4 short term partners besides him over the 5 years and none compare to the sex I have with him, yet almost always after having sex with him I feel ashamed and empty. I want to move on with my life and leave my past lover in the past and stop this ongoing circle of pain. I feel drawn to his wickedness, at times I’ve been very strong and refrained from contact and then I go though phases that I almost let it destroy any happiness I feel and I withdrawn from my family and friends for a short time until I can gather my sanity back once more.